Pet Peeve Monday: Monogrammed Cars

Welcome to the first edition of Pet Peeve Monday. All the pet peeves featured in these posts are truly pet peeves of mine. Some are funny. Some are not. If you share any of my pet peeves, feel free to post comments with your stories! If you are the target of my irritation, please correct your erroneous ways immediately! My peeves are listed in no particular order in terms of irritation level, which ranges from mild to extreme.

Today's pet peeve: monogrammed cars. For those who do not live in Alabama, or another state that is generally considered mentally slower than the rest of the nation, it is exactly what you might imagine. Girls, and maybe the occasional guy questioning his sexuality, actually put a sticker with their initials on the back windshield of the car. The purpose, you ask? Who the hell knows. My best guess is so when the offender is in the presence of her Vera Bradley-toting, North Face jacket-wearing, I-only-smoke-when-I-drink friends, she feels that she fits in with the crowd. Surely she does not intend for me to gain some IQ points by learning that the car belongs to "ABC." And I would assume in most cases, it belongs to ABC's parents, so the decal should actually read "DBC." Southerners and bright ideas are not bosom buddies.

I have never been, nor will I ever be, trendy. Maybe that is why I despise luggage, purses, and clothes that have name brands plastered everywhere so people KNOW you own Louis Vuitton (or at least a well-made knockoff). Maybe that is why I have more friends that are guys. I just do not get into (what I consider) nerdy obsessions that make girls waste their money on a product or idea that will be yesterday's fad in no time. I was somewhat of a tomboy growing up. I prefer sports over fashion and beer over wine. I am not a Southern belle. I wear sweats and t-shirts that I have owned for ten years ninety percent of the time. I actually, to my college roommate's horror, wore a poncho the first time it rained after I moved to Auburn. I am a marketer's nightmare. I rarely have to have the things I see on TV or the newest "it" item that people rush out to buy. So I probably would not be on the research panel for the company who designed these decals, but I will be the blogger who criticizes the product!

Alabama is a little more traditional when it comes to, well, everything. Monogramming is immensely popular. I can understand the married couple's linens, maybe some baby accessories, but do you really have to advertise your name on your car. It is bad enough that many Alabamians have personalized license plates ranging from (you guessed it!) monograms to hobbies (please see the related photo display of dumb personalized plates on my facebook), so why is it necessary to personalize the bumper and the windshield? In case they are separated at the county fair, they can be reunited by a good Samaritan? If the monogram decal is used in combination with a sticker supporting the University of Alabama, you might as well take it to the junk yard!

As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said in A Psalm of Life, "Be not like dumb, driven cattle!" Stray from the herd! Be a rebel! Become a pioneer! Feel the rush of the revolution and REMOVE THAT DAMN MONOGRAM FROM YOUR WINDSHIELD!

I have used the screenname "auhusker" for a long time. It is a combination of my two favorite schools, Auburn University in Alabama and the University of Nebraska. My support is even reflected in my little fish tank up top with the scarlet, white, orange and blue fish. I was raised as a Cornhusker. I learned the fight song right along with my ABCs and I was saddened by the switch to the West Coast offense from the option after Tom Osborne's departure. I was introduced to Auburn during a week-long trip of college campus visits during high school. When I became an Auburn Tiger, I jumped right into the traditions as overwhelming school spirit emerged shortly after my acceptance. I proudly wear orange and blue with my heels every Saturday in the fall. When I travel outside of Alabama wearing Auburn clothing, I am often asked to clarify the confusion about our mascot. We are the Auburn Tigers, and Aubie graces the sidelines at all the games in his tiger suit, but we yell "War Eagle!" (or in some cases, for the extremely proud, "War Damn Eagle!"), and an eagle circles the stadium before every home football game while the crowd vocalizes the battle cry until the eagle lands in centerfield. So, for those interested, here is some clarification.

There are many stories on the possible origin of "War Eagle," but the version often told is of a Civil War soldier who kept a wounded eagle as a pet after finding him on the battlefield. The soldier brought the eagle to the football game against Georgia in 1892, and Auburn was trying to come from behind for a win. The eagle left the soldier's shoulder and began circling the stadium as Auburn moved the ball down the field and scored a touchdown to win the game. After the victory, the eagle took his final dive and perished on the field. The eagle died, but his spirit has stayed with the Auburn faithful through the years, and if you are lucky enough, you will see the eagle circle the field before each home football game on the plains.

You can read other versions of the "War Eagle" origin here: www.auburn.edu/admissions/auburn/traditions.html . There are several videos on YouTube of the eagles who have flown over the years, including a special flight at the opening ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Utah. It is a very moving tradition. I tear up with emotion and pride every time I see the eagle fly. I am unaware if visitors to Auburn get the same feeling when they witness the pregame flight, but it is a amazing sight for those who are privileged to see it.

War Eagle! And Go Tigers! Who is your favorite team?

Pet Peeve Monday: Introduction... on Thursday

I created this blog a year ago with the intention of writing gripping entries that millions would read and would somehow get me a date with Justin Timberlake. Well, to my disappointment, none of that has happened... yet. And I believe it is simply because I created it and abandoned it. So now, new devotion to a new hobby.

I want to make the disclaimer in my debut blog, that I am by no means a professional writer. I write simply for my own enjoyment (and your amusement). And while I do hope that all my spelling, punctuation, and grammar are correct, and that my witty commentary is worthy of publication in a popular magazine, there will inevitably be errors, and for that I apologize. I will do my best to write honestly and openly about things that tickle my fancy (whatever a fancy happens to be), and I make no claims to be an/the expert on anything. I realize many will disagree with my opinions and/or may find them offensive or rude, but that is what makes opinions fun! They are mine and are not necessarily fact! And hopefully, just as many people will find my opinions spot-on, intelligent, and humorous.

So... without further ado, I would like to introduce my first novel idea: Pet Peeve Monday! I consider myself George Carlin-esque, not because of my graying hair, but because of my typically glass-half-empty pessimism. I must say at least ten times a day "THAT is my biggest pet peeve!" I am sadly all too aware of the increasing number of idiots that are present in our society and all of the idiotic things they do on a daily basis. I have wanted to collect a list of my pet peeves to publish in an dictionary-sized book believing that there are thousands of intelligent people out there who share my thoughts. But as I lack the motivation to compile and publish a book that would go straight to the bargain bin, I will share those pet peeves with you, my non-existent followers.

Today, I will not indulge you with a particular pet peeve, merely an introduction to what will be a weekly, Monday edition to my blog. I assume since everyone wakes up on the wrong side of bed at the beginning of the week, we can all share in our common hatred for the morons who are invading our territory. It will also give me an incentive to publish a blog at least once a week to keep you entertained.

Please feel free to share your pet peeves with me. Maybe your pet peeve will be mentioned in a future edition of Pet Peeve Monday!