Welcome to the first edition of Pet Peeve Monday. All the pet peeves featured in these posts are truly pet peeves of mine. Some are funny. Some are not. If you share any of my pet peeves, feel free to post comments with your stories! If you are the target of my irritation, please correct your erroneous ways immediately! My peeves are listed in no particular order in terms of irritation level, which ranges from mild to extreme.
Today's pet peeve: monogrammed cars. For those who do not live in Alabama, or another state that is generally considered mentally slower than the rest of the nation, it is exactly what you might imagine. Girls, and maybe the occasional guy questioning his sexuality, actually put a sticker with their initials on the back windshield of the car. The purpose, you ask? Who the hell knows. My best guess is so when the offender is in the presence of her Vera Bradley-toting, North Face jacket-wearing, I-only-smoke-when-I-drink friends, she feels that she fits in with the crowd. Surely she does not intend for me to gain some IQ points by learning that the car belongs to "ABC." And I would assume in most cases, it belongs to ABC's parents, so the decal should actually read "DBC." Southerners and bright ideas are not bosom buddies.
I have never been, nor will I ever be, trendy. Maybe that is why I despise luggage, purses, and clothes that have name brands plastered everywhere so people KNOW you own Louis Vuitton (or at least a well-made knockoff). Maybe that is why I have more friends that are guys. I just do not get into (what I consider) nerdy obsessions that make girls waste their money on a product or idea that will be yesterday's fad in no time. I was somewhat of a tomboy growing up. I prefer sports over fashion and beer over wine. I am not a Southern belle. I wear sweats and t-shirts that I have owned for ten years ninety percent of the time. I actually, to my college roommate's horror, wore a poncho the first time it rained after I moved to Auburn. I am a marketer's nightmare. I rarely have to have the things I see on TV or the newest "it" item that people rush out to buy. So I probably would not be on the research panel for the company who designed these decals, but I will be the blogger who criticizes the product!
Alabama is a little more traditional when it comes to, well, everything. Monogramming is immensely popular. I can understand the married couple's linens, maybe some baby accessories, but do you really have to advertise your name on your car. It is bad enough that many Alabamians have personalized license plates ranging from (you guessed it!) monograms to hobbies (please see the related photo display of dumb personalized plates on my facebook), so why is it necessary to personalize the bumper and the windshield? In case they are separated at the county fair, they can be reunited by a good Samaritan? If the monogram decal is used in combination with a sticker supporting the University of Alabama, you might as well take it to the junk yard!
As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said in A Psalm of Life, "Be not like dumb, driven cattle!" Stray from the herd! Be a rebel! Become a pioneer! Feel the rush of the revolution and REMOVE THAT DAMN MONOGRAM FROM YOUR WINDSHIELD!
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